This week the endoscopy and PET scan should let me know if the cancer situation is 1) better, 2) worse or 3) the same.  In moments like this, “hope” usually makes its appearance since there is nothing anyone can actually do between now and the tests.  I really do not put much stock in hope because it is an abstract term and does not influence the outcome of anything.   Hope is something you want very badly but you are not sure you are going to get it.   Sometimes you don't (your hopes are "dashed"), but sometimes you do (your hopes are "realized") which is why people contiue to hope.  Why do you think people keep on playing the lottery when they lose week after week ("never give up hope")?  Don't get me wrong, I like to hope as much as anybody. I am not giving way to pessimism.  I do hope the results are favorable. However hopes are often confused with expectations.  Someone once said, "If you do not have any expectations, you will not have any disappointments." (If no one said that, I just did.) So let's hope the results are good.  If not, let's hope I can just deal with it and move on.  Remember, another thing they say about hope is: "you never run out of it."