Dear Mitt,

I hope you don’t mind my calling you Mitt but since you’re trying to sell yourself as a regular guy I figured you won’t mind.  I’m writing to give you a great idea for reducing the run-away costs of those dreaded government entitlement programs.  It’s easy.  If you get elected, on inauguration day just declare that registered Republicans are immediately not eligible for government handouts like Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Food Stamps, Disability Insurance and anything else that blood-sucking 47 per cent is getting at the expense of hard working Republicans who take responsibility for their own lives.  That will really show the liberals that Republicans put their money where your mouth is.  Now the beauty of this plan is that Republicans will demonstrate their conservative purity and you can shame the Democrat deadbeats into believing that they are causing our enormous deficits so they will quit applying for benefits.  Bingo!   You now have more money to spend on the military in case you let Netanyahu get you into a war with Iran. Of course there just might be some Republicans who actually benefit from government programs but screw them.  You’re used to dumping people so that shouldn’t bother you. Oh,  one last word of advice:  Try not to make any more goofs that make you look really out of touch with just about everything.

Sincerely,

Bill (You can call me by my first name too.)