Iowa? So?

The good news is that that Iowa caucuses will be over in seven days.  The bad news is we will have to endure seven more days of Iowa hysteria.

Every four years we are subjected to the presidential elections circuses intended to name the two parties’ candidates.  The ritual begins with the Iowa caucuses when everyone in the United States is expected to agonize over polls and pundit commentary, breathlessly waiting to learn who Iowans will select as their nominees.

In the interest of political science you are invited to participate in a political survey to determine your Iowa tolerance quotient:

Question 1:  Do you have any idea why all the presidential candidates are groveling to Iowans and the news media are going nearly berserk about covering, analyzing and speculating on the Iowa caucuses?

Question 2: Do you really care who Iowans want to be the presidential candidates?

Question 3:  Do you know what a caucus is?

Question 4:  Do you know where Iowa is?

In the interest of full disclosure here are my answers.

Question 1:  No, I have no idea why I every four years presidential candidates ingratiate themselves to Iowans.  I get very tired of endless interviews with white, wholesome looking Iowans, mostly seniors, drinking coffee in local diners offering their assessments of presidential candidates and the candidates’ fervid, public declarations of how much they love Jesus Christ.  I do not know why a state that is 92 percent white, 3.4 percent black and 5.6 percent Hispanic and largely rural is somehow considered a representative cross section of all American.  We are told that the reason Iowa is so important is because it is first to declare a nominee, whatever significance that has.

Question 2:  No, I do not give a damn about who Iowa farmers think should be the presidential nominees.  I have nothing in common with them and they, in my opinion, do not represent the American public and are certainly not representative of me.  Of course Iowa television stations make a lot of money on political advertising during this period and over the years Iowa corn farmers have gotten huge Federal Government handouts to subsidize corn for ethanol.

Question 3:  No, I do not know what a caucus is and I don’t care.

Question 4: Yes, I do know where Iowa is.  I have been there and I found it probably the most boring, dull, uninteresting place in the entire universe unless you like driving through flat fields of corn and soybeans.

But this whole Iowa thing is just indicative of how ridiculous our American political system has become.  Last Sunday in the pursuit of political research I watched the three major network morning news programs where they interviewed the top candidates and then did panel discussions interpreting and analyzing what the candidates just said.  Then I watched the pre-game shows for the NFL playoffs. 

It was hard to tell where politics left off and the football began.  It has all—football and politics—become so much hoopla and show business, hyperbole and hysteria.  The caucuses and primaries are like the playoffs leading up to the Presidential Election.  You get play-by-play and commentary with announcers hyperventilating about how exciting all this is and attempting to generate suspense about the outcome.

There is one major difference between the NFL Super Bowl and presidential elections.  The playoff run up to the Super Bowl only lasts a couple months.  We have to endure the run up to the presidential election for well over a year.

Note: I don’t give a damn about New Hampshire either.