Some of you may remember I am also running for president.  I was unanimously nominated by all six delegates to my convention at the Palace Saloon. We have all heard Romney declare that he knows how to create jobs, get Republicans and Democrats to work together (fat chance), and do anything to get us on the right track.  And Obama claims he will be the hero of the middle class and just needs more time to fix the economy and keep the Republicans from cancelling grandma’s Social Security and Medicare.  Now here’s my platform.  It is guaranteed to fix our country no matter what your party affiliation.  First, I will establish term limits for all congressmen so they will not spend their entire lives pandering to private interests for money so they can keep getting reelected.  Second, I will get rid of the Electoral College so everybody’s votes will really count not just those in the “battleground states” (those with a lot of electoral votes).  Third, I will require all states to establish an independent commission to draw honest congressional district lines so state legislatures cannot blatantly stack the deck in their party’s favor.  Fourth, all Congressmen will participate in Social Security and Medicare just like every other American.  While in office, their Social Security and Medicare deductions will count toward their eligibility for benefits at age 67 which makes sense because after their term limit they will have to go get another job.  While in office they will participate in a 401k which they can also take with them to their next job.  This platform will, undoubtedly, fix many of the flaws in our system and hopefully get our politicians to think more about what’s right for our country rather than how they can keep themselves and their party in power and line their own pockets.  The Republicans and Democrats will never adopt this platform of course because it’s not in their own selfish interests.  You notice I was not invited to participate in the debates.